Just like that

So our car got stolen yesterday. Surprising? not so much. cars get stolen everyday. Disturbing? for us it is. Enraging? in many ways.

FYI

When I ask people for 'a brief description of the project' it does not mean that you send me the entire deliverable or copy paste random paragraphs. Instead it means, I want a snapshot of the project and since you happened to be a part of it I am assuming you knew what the project was about. Of course, based on experience I know that most people either do not know what they did in a project that ended a week ago and cannot be made to give a decent account of any project regardless of the capacity in which they were part of the project.

P.S. Yes, I do not like the people I work with.

Little boy on the road

I met a little boy on the road yesterday. He must not have been older than 10 years of age. He was selling one of those smiley face plasticine things that change shape when you push or pull at them. I asked him how much he was charging and he said Rs. 25. I gave him Rs. 30 and as I was rolling up the car window he tapped saying 'your change'. I told him 'you can keep it' [rakh lo] and he replied (rather offended) 'I do not take money' [mein paisay nahi leta]. I watched him walk away tall and upright. I felt shallow within. I am five ruppees richer but much poorer than that little boy on the road. I hope his principles survive through time and age.

Round the clock

I am not sure how or why but I have landed myself the same schedule I left about three years ago. Grad school was a nice break. I did not intend to juggle lots after coming back but here it is. Six months out of school and am running short of time for even meals. I think keeping busy makes sense when the being idle becomes synonymous with despair. We are living in uncertain times - the less time we have at our hands the less likely we are to realize where we are really headed.

Things continue to come together

Turns out the gods were listening when SAJ dropped in his comment on an earlier post. Today, has been a good day. Opportunities come in bundles. See one and the others follow. However, the door must be open.

Communication

I wonder why we keep procrastinating when it comes to giving out information that can offend another. I figure we do not want to be in a confrontation. Likewise, it makes sense to hesitate before passing on bad news. Nonetheless, why wait. Particularly, why wait when the longer you wait the more the other will feel offended. How about just jumping right in and coming out clean.

Things come together

Lately, I feel the universe conspiring in my favor. Somehow things fall in place by themselves. However, I cannot suppress the temptation to qualify current optimism. Things fall apart much faster than than they come together. For now, I am enjoying experiencing things coming together.

TGIF

and the work week ends today :) the good think about working is getting the weekend off...students don't really get weekends off since they have assignements and stuff piled up for some deadline ahaed no matter how close or distant that may be....working ppl get weekends off (not always but still) so the point is I am excited about not working on saturday and sunday.

The problem

You often fail to see the shortcomings of your culture till either they become an absolute pain or you happen to get a chance to see how people in other places do things. I was not particularly impressed by the work ethic of people around me before I left pakiland for amreeka. However, I was able to foresee inefficiences, make allowances for them and get things done without losing either my sanity or the job. The situation has become much worse since I got back. I do not - yes, I do not - get how things work here (which btw don't most of the time). Things are slow and inefficient to the point of not just being painfully unprofessional but plain simple unbearable.

P.S. Yes, this is another one of those days when I am not happy with my job : /

Random

Overheard at the last company wide meeting:

A: 'Why the need for this meeting'?
B: 'Kampany doob rahi hai afsos ke liyay bulaya hai'

Kampany abhi tak to nahi doob rahi albata afsos ki zaroorat aksar rehti hai.

Need a better chair

After weeks and months of sulking over my very uncomfortable chair at work I have found a way to vent out the frustration. I want something better. I want a piece of decent contemporary furniture. A chair comfortable enough to let me last through the long work day. In my search for something better I stumbled upon this great website for modern furniture that brings together style and comfort. You should check out what is on display. You will not be disappointed by the designs. Not to mention the 5% discount on italian furniture.

Loadshedding

I taught my SAT students in candle light today. The UPS dies after no more than twenty minutes. Can’t blame the poor thing, it barely gets over an hour to recharge. Where exactly are we heading with state of affairs?

Content

I am learning to be content with life. It takes effort but it is less taxing than fretting over what I do not have. I have enough to get through today. I will worry about tomorrow when I get there.

I need..

I need to hear a happy story. I know too many people who are going through tough times. I want someone to walk up to me and tell me they are happy with life. Today I want to meet one happy person.

An open book

My environment spills over me. The shades of my surroundings find a window into my soul. My eyes carry the shadows right through. Stare in any day and you will know where I have been.

Associations

It is interesting how ghazals that I first heard in DC during moments of sickening nostalgia and homesickness remind me of DC as home now that I am back home.

Why I do not call

I clearly remember the day she told me she was in love. I had a hunch about it days before she confided in me yet I remember the moment she uttered the words as if it was just today. We were sitting in the cafeteria during a break from science lab. I was chipping away on a samosa while she sipped her soda. It is ironic how years down the road we have banished trivial indulgences in the name of healthy living and held onto affiliations that have armor to wound us for life. Today, she is divorced with two daughters. I struggle to stir enough courage to call her for small talk.

Why?

Why do we keep giving in to people long after we know that they are only there to take from us? Why do things make so much sense only in hindsight? Why do we not see the cold bitter face of betrayal when it stares right at us? Why are we such optimistic idiots ever so often?

Back and forth

The blog keeps getting sidelined and I keep returning. There is no design to the abandonment or adoption. I keep swinging between oblivion and existence like the bob of a pendulum.

'something'

So, I disappeared for a while. I kept checking the blog now and then but have been too tied up to actually write 'something'. A few times I felt a strong urge to write at least 'something' but that did not quite happen. Now, out of plain insomnia i am writing 'something'.

Patience

We are patient people. We can fast daily for a month. We can go without food and drink from dawn to dusk. But if you happen to be on the road near maghrib or end up at a samosa shop near iftar, we’ll tear out your guts and spill out every swear word we know. Like I said we are patient people – till we get the slightest excuse to lose sense.

Highlight of the day

Biryani!

They served biryani for lunch on my first day at work. Today again, it's biryani day. Mostly the lunch here is edible. On some odd days it is a struggle to survive the 'intricacies' served in the name of food. But now and then, the food here is plain simple good :)

Communication

I can never understand what is it in people that makes them hold back information when their job is to pass it on. I so do not like the 'I know it', 'I will tell you' attitude packed with 'I still know it and you do not'. Ha!

Highlight of the day.

I crossed a young mother on the street with her ~5 year old daughter. Following is the exchange between mother and daughter that I eavesdropped upon.

Mother: 'Yeh kis tarah hijab pehna hai aap nay, saray baal nazar aa rahay hain'.

Work : /

I do not - do not - like it when people do not know what they are doing : /

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Bank account stuff

So today I walked in to a decent local bank branch to get a bank account. Given the tedious new sequence of documentation and endless number of forms to be signed the whole process took about ninety minutes. Interestingly, the person handling my application failed to comprehend why I want to open a bank account when I am niether a student nor a working woman. He suggested I put in my status as house wife as in that case there will be no need to account for my income. Now the problem is that I am not a house wife - no more a student and I have not started work yet. So I am not able to give a tangible source of my income. And I MUST give a source of income in order to get an account.

Finally, my father put himself in as my source of income. And now I have a bank account. Thanks to the whole new state of affairs surrounding flow of funds in this country.

My people

You know you are on a flight from Bahrain to Lahore when half the people in the plane decide to stand up a good ten minutes before the plane actually lands.Whether the seat belt sign is on or the Gulf Air staff plead that you sit down for your own safety is irrelevant. Again you know you are on this very flight when cell phones start ringing before the jet wheels hit ground. Lastly, you know you landed at Lahore airport when more than half the people in the ladies queue for immigration are men.

Home

They say 'home is where the heart is'. My heart is not in London. It is not the city with its archaic structures or dreary skies it is the person within me who is reluctant to associate with this place as yet. I feel I am in transit.

I have switched houses every few years so moving is not new to me. With the exception of my four years at college I have never lived in a city for more than three years. Yet somewhere in a hidden closet I have nourished the desire to find home in one place and settle down. There is no time line and there is no specific place set down. It can be any time and any where just so long as it happens.

I was happy in Lahore. Happier in DC. I am not sure if I will be as happy in Lahore as I was before. Association stems from people rather than place. My parents are still in Lahore but my friends and siblings are not. More so, the newly found husabnd is no where near Lahore. Lahore is stripped of association for me. It is a city - a nice - that used to be home. For two years DC was home away from home. Now, I feel stranded somewhere in the middle.

Calm before the storm

After two years of toiling towards a graduate degree I finally have a few days with nothing to do. I have the degree. I am done with school. I have a job that begins a few weeks from now. Till then I am living in the void of being idle. Somewhere along the line of going from school to college to work to university I became a restless person who just cannot be idle. I like keeping busy. It makes moments go by easy and the demons stay out. Having time with nothing to do is no virtue it is a sheer burden. A burden I am trying to ease by writing random words for now.

And it's raining

It is raining - again! What is with rain and clouds in this city. Whatever happened to a sunny summer and warm afternoons. Where has all the sunshine gone?

I so do not like London. It is dark and dreary to the point of being depressing and it is plain old. This city is old in a not so fancy traditional ancient old way. It is just old. The roads are narrow, the buildings barely standing and the rail tracks dirty.

Constant overcast

London is...not DC. They say home is where the heart is...my heart is not in London. Hence, London is anything but remotely similar to the home I left behind. I am alienated from the overcast here. My home is closer to the hot and humid DC summer.

Last post from DC

This is the last post coming out of DC. It has been a nice adventure. And now it is time to find challenges in another direction.

Packing

How do you pack life in a suit case? I asked the same question two years ago and failed to come up with a good enough answer. You can take as many pictures as you want and rip as many songs as you can on a hard disk. You can carry a photo frame and a luminite mug. You can pick and choose with your clothes and shoes and all the other trivialities. But what do you do with all human associations?

What happens after?

We go through life working towards one thing after another. There is a string of things that we want and the further we get on the road the more we want. Somewhere on the way we forget to relish what we get and become lost in the pursuit of what we want to get. It is important to take a moment to recognize how far one has come and how wonderful it is to be able to accomplish the small things that lead us to the big things in our lives. Moreover, it is is important to pause and celebrate ones achievement for you never know when you will again get the chance to be grateful for something you have accomplished.

I am taking time today to celebrate things that surprise me. Sometimes, when you get something you have wanted so long and toiled hard for you can be surprised that you actually managed to achieve it. Today, I am surprised at myself.

I graduated

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you a Georgetown graduate :)

Gratitude

Today, I am grateful to a God who never forgets me even when I forget him.

Labor of love

Academic pursuit is a labor of love. It is demanding and at times excrutiating to stare at the blank computer screen and dig out a research proposal out of the clutter of mundane trivialities of daily routine. Yet, once one finds a puzzle and embarks on the pursuit of a solution the journey is an adventure of self discovery. I picked up crazy topics this semester. I toiled to find relevant literature and often found myself in utter confusion. I read paper upon paper, book upon book and searched online journals to the point of endagering my eyes and sanity. Nonetheless, at the end of the day there is nothing more rewarding than solving a puzzle.

Fitna

I am finally done with my paper on analyzing the representation of internal others - Muslim immigrants in Netherlands - in the documentary film Fitna. The paper stretched out much longer than I wanted or anticipated. Yet, I wrote a paper that surprises me in many ways. Sometimes, I feel I am living in a psuedo-intellevctual void where everything takes on a whole new meaning in abstraction. Nothing seems tangible and there are never any real answers. Truth is so evasive. Sometimes, the more we know the farther we get from finding an answer.

It's a small world

Today within three hours I met one Afghani, one Indian. two girls from Peru and one Pakistani. The interesting thing is that I met all these people while going to and returning from my brief trip to Alexandria. While, three of these people spoke a language that is native of me, the two Peruvian girls and I communicate through smiles and gestures more than broken English.

The encounters were a fruit of sheer boredom and coincidence. I talk and I like observing people when they talk. I think I was posing as an ethnographer of communication. what graduate school does to supposedly normal beings.

Culture

I study culture. I spend my days reading and writing about culture. If there is something that gets me going it is culture studies. It makes sense to me and I am able to make sense about it. Yet, culture is beyond me when it comes to the reality of daily life. I get it but I still do not really get it. I do not see why people - educated people - refuse to look beyond the bounds of the norms and traditions they are raised with. At times, I just do not get when (if at all) we will move on from what we are conditioned in to something that makes more practical and rational sense.

Uncertainty

I have often thought to myself that uncertainty is the most wonderful thing about life. You never know what happens next. If you did it will not be half as much fun. However, it is the very uncertainty of life that makes time stop and every moment unbearable. Hanging in limbo is no joy yet when you get through and find out what happened next it is worth the waiting.

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About Rambling

I just thought about why we ramble on and on about things that we all know. Why we talk about things that are often painfully obvious or totally banal. I ramble because I feel the need to say it out and then hear myself. I ramble because when i write words make more sense to me than they did just floating around my head.

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Denial (continued)

I just remembered that some years ago I studied the idea of the pain gate with respect to things that are too traumatic. We do not always shut things out because we decide to do so. It is a simple defense mechanism. Survival dictates we block out what can harm us. So, we block it out and survive. For better or worse, we survive, and whether it is worth it or not it still happens.

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Denial

Denial is not just knowing what you cannot handle yet refusing to handle it. It can be acknowledgment of the unbearable and shutting it out just so that you can function to make it through. There are things that I cannot change and as much as I try I cannot stop caring. So, I shut them out - at least temporarily. It gets me through the day and lets me do all the trivial things that we need to do to keep sane. What matters at the end of the day is survival.

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Learning to protest

I watched the Dutch documentary Fitna out of the same curiosity that led me to read through Satanic Verses by Rushdie. It never hurts (enough) to know what is out there whether you agree with it or not. Always know the opposition in the face of which you are to last.

I was irritated when I first watched the (excuse-for-a) documentary. I decided to watch it again and again till I could watch it without being distracted by religious association. And there it was: something to write about. Why sit alone in my room and get annoyed watching the clip on youtube. Why not write a paper tearing apart the sham of a political propaganda film the Dutch parliamentarian came out with. So, I am writing a paper about the (mis)represented 'Other' in the documentary: the other that is all over the screen yet denied the right to speak for itself. Let's speak for the other. It is time the other speaks.

Fitna

The first viewing of the documentary irritated me. So, a Dutch parliamentarian picks out random Quranic verses out of context, couples them with a bunch of sermons from crazy Mullahs, throws in violent imagery and you have a documentary. Not to forget the stats on Muslim immigrants in Netherlands and Europe.

This tickled my already irritated nerves and I watched the documentary again. This is not just an anti-Islam film. This is anti-immigrant political propaganda. No coincidence that the man behind the venture is the chair of the Dutch Part for Freedom. The party slogan is 'Stop the Islamization of Netherlands'. He is against open immigration of non-Europeans to Netherlands and this certainly does well when it comes to winning over votes from (shall we say) xenophobes.

Edward Said wrote about Orientalism a few decades ago and one would think the idea would be common sense to European policy makers. No, the world is not that round yet. It is yet to reach Geert Wilders. Or may be Mr. Wilders is just not open to anything that demands he take off his tainted (racist) glasses and look at the world with a broader vision.

Life happens

I did not grow up dreaming of a graduate degree in social science. I did not grow up dreaming about marriage. I did not grow up dreaming about anything in particular at all. Seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, and even decades passed with a flow of their own. Interests took root and disappeared with a will of their own. Sometimes I conformed, sometimes I stuck o being a stubborn tough being. Things happened and undid themselves while I watched my life as a bystander. And then there were times when I created life out of whatever little or more came along my way.

I did not plan o-levels, fsc., undergrad, work, a scholarship, masters, marriage or anything at all. Things came up and things happened. Life happens. Whether you like it or not life happens. You can either live along or wait for life to oblige you. Both ways life happens and somewhere along the way you happen too. So, why fret? Why worry today about all the good and bad that will happen anyway.

I do not know what tomorrow has in store for me. I wish it is as promising as I want it to be but I have no way of knowing. And I do not want to know too. It will just not be worth the pursuit if I know what lies at the other end. So, I will walk my way to the end nd find out all that I can find on the way.

There is no happy ever after. Just happiness punctuated by distress or vice versa. depends on how you take it. End of the day it is just plain simple life happening and beckoning you to happen along.

Words unsaid

There are days when words flow with a volition of their own and then there are days when thought refuses to be tied down to the beat of fingertips punching away on a keyboard. This is one of those day I guess. I have a mosaic of ideas in my head but each one is more illusive than the other. It is hard to pick out any one form or hue. All are gathered together in a collage that has fuzzy edges and a distant appeal. I think no one thread to be strung out today. No particular thoughts to be penned down today.

Cinderella Man

It is common to watch a movie yet very rare to feel one. I just watched this one and strongly recommend you do the same. It is no typical fairy tale as the title proposes. And it surely is not yet another commercial venture. It is a movie to watch and cherish with all its high and low moments that capture the intensity and fragility of life itself. I will not ruin it for you by spelling out what the movie is about. So, go watch it.

'We'

This post is in response to a comment posted on one of my earlier posts about the reprinting of the Mohammad cartoons in the Danish press. The 'we' in the following comment struck me as yet another pronounced expression of how we construct and live out national myth.

'We danes are a proud people. We dont take orders from foreigners in our own country. We are one of the nations in the world,that spend most per capita in fighting poverty globalwide. Including in the muslim world. Will you boycott our support - then you just let us know...'

It points towards how we as citizens or members of a nation perceive ourselves as a whole and how we internalize criticism from others in to glory. I read an article sometime ago how the Serbs and Croats used criticism from each other as favored attributes i.e. the Serbs are not invaders or aggressors by the warrior people. I wonder why we never pause to wonder that our nation, the one we have been conditioned to think of as the greatest and best in the world, can err too. And that we too can make mistakes and there in no virtue in attempting to glory our follies. Rather there is virtue in accepting and remedying our mistakes in order to be a truly great nation worthy of pride.

Lost in Translation

As much as I like the movie, this post is not about the movie 'Lost in Translation'. It is about little things that we never thought we need to know and are not taught in ESL classes or for that matter in schools.

A friend needed a ride to the halal store and dear hubby decided to oblige. Once there my friend asked me which daal was supposed to be split yellow lentils. She needed to shop for a recipe of daal palak (spinach with lentils) she had seen online. So we browsed through the rack of lentils in all colors. Is it daal masoor without skin, the one that looks orange/peach but turns yellow on cooking or is it daal moong without skin, the one that is yellow both before and after cooking. I suggested daal channa based on my interest in cooking. She picked daal masoor and returned home happy to cook for a few friends from across the globe. The cooking went well and the spinach lentil dish worked out fine. She later sent me a link to the online recipe and upon checking it I found it referred to 'yellow split gram lentils'. Now what on earth is that.

Upon googling the unfamiliar phrase for daal I discovered that gram lentils refers to daal channa. However, that is not the point. The point that I am vaguely alluding to is how many things need active translation and interpretation when you leave home and find abode in a place where rice has an expiration date. I grew up with the idea that the older the rice you cook the better it is.

The idea is that when you translate garam masala and achar it is not the same thing. When you use fry or saute for 'bhoonanaa' it is not the same thing and when you cook daal from walmart it is no where near the truck driver daal maash that you find at little shacks lined up around GT road. It is just never the same thing.

For fellow graduate students

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Culture

The best definition of culture I could ever find was 'collective lifestyle'. It encompasses everything from achaar and biryani to chehlum and valima. However, what this definition does not convey is dissent of those existing within a culture: those who live on the edges and refuse to endorse the norms and customs they find senseless. Shall we label them individualistic and automatically malign them with the stigma of outcasts or shall we be brave enough to at least attempt to make sense of the dissent voiced by these pariahs.

Dissent within cultures is a voice that maintains the fluidity and survival of the aforementioned. It is disagreement with the current and reinterpretation of the past that paves the path towards the future. A culture of stagnation is akin to a recipe for self destruction. It brings its own doom upon itself. Yet we do not see and we hold on tight to our stubborn dispositions. Resultantly, the disgruntled depart and the culture is deprived of the very agents of change that are essential to its smooth progression through time and space.

Change happens, nonetheless, whether resisted or accepted. Only that the harbingers of this change are persecuted like false prophets and victimized for their ability to foreshadow the future.

Distance

The distance between two people is the depth of the void between them when they stare face to face. It is the vacuum that is evaded better with silence than words. It is the unsaid norm that is dictated by neither yet commanded by both.

What really is the distance between here and there, now and then, you and me...

It is just a tie

You think you have heard the most ridiculous thing ever yet there is always something better out there. Seriously, there is no end to the absurdity of human thought. Correction: lack of thought. Turns out that someone at a notable mosque in the DC area asked the imam a rather 'let's say interesting' question and the imam responded to the faithful seeker's query in today's Friday sermon'

The Question: Is it halal to wear a tie in Islam (because it imitates the the attire of non-Muslims!)?

I am not even bothering with an answer.

P.S. This mosque/sermon is attended by professionals with at least a college degree.

Little acts

You grow up learning about virtue at home and school. There is religious teaching and plain simple social norm. Also, there is learning by seeing. You watch your parents conduct their lives and try to follow to in their steps. But somewhere along the way a lot of us forget the goodness.

Last night I witnessed a little act of goodness and I thought I should share it here. My apt. mate and I went out for coffee with Anne and Amy. Amy is a dear friend I have known for a while now and Anne is Amy's friend. I have met Anne a couple of times before. However, my apt. mate was meeting Anne for the first time. My apt. mate has met Amy before and they are acquainted. So anyway, we had a nice evening out walking and talking and then sipping away at our tea/coffee at this nearby place.

The little act that brings a smile to my face even the next morning is my apt. mate's insistence upon paying for us all. She paid for all four of us despite protest. She did not have to and she did not need to but she wanted to and she did. This is a small gesture of kindness coming from a big generous heart. Back home it might not have been a big deal but here it is - a BIG deal. And it is such a joy to witness such small acts in the chaotic world we live in today.

Not happy with my bank

I just found a charge that I do not recognize on my credit card statement and called them up to ask what is going on. They said I need to talk to my bank because the charge is for a payment reversal and thus I have been fined . So i call up my bank and they give me the most ridiculous reason one can think of. Yes, seriously they did. I filed a complaint of course but I am so not optimistic about that.

The banking system in this country escapes me. And it is not the only thing. the health system is the real winner. There is no way for me to make sense of it ever. So yeah I am not happy with my bank. So not happy with my bank .

And now that I am here ranting about the health care system. You should watch 'Sicko'. You really should. It is informative to the point of being alarming and almost depressing. So if the health care system here escapes you watch 'Sicko' it will be like catharsis.

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Defame Islam, get sued

OIC has devised a new strategy to deal with the ever growing Islamophobia prevalent in today's world. This might or might not work. Nonetheless, it is certainly a far more positive approach than taking to violence. Here is the link to an article discussing the aforementioned.
Defame Islam. Get Sued

Spitzer and the Islamabad Cat House

In the light of the Spitzer scandal and the Cat House revelation in Islamabad, I cannot help but venture my views on the oh-o-shunned and taboo issue of prostitution.

I believe prostitution serves a function in society. It does not come about in a vacuum. It is plain simple demand and supply. Cracking down on supply alone will not solve the issue. The root lies at the demand end. Will shutting down brothels lead people to refrain from sexual relations outside marriage? Certainly not. Will these people give up looking for what they seek altogether? No. Chances are they will look in other places and those options might turn out more disastrous. I remember reading a survey some time back about incest and rape incidents increasing with a cut down on prostitution. (I really wish I had a reference here and will try and look it up if possible).

Prostitution is a symptom not a cause of moral depravity. Eliminating the symptom will not kill the infection. Thus, the very idea of shutting down brothels or shunning prostitution is plain ludicrous to me. Those who have relations with call girls will not give up their lifestyles just by virtue of there being no call girls. And mind you, there will be call girls. Prostitution is fact that we conveniently shun and dismiss. It has been there throughout history and will outlive us all. You can trace as it as far back as you want and wherever you want to go on this planet.

The problem is not the prostitutes but those who turn to them. Curb the demand and supply will drop. The brothels will shut down automatically once the visitors stop visiting. Meanwhile, how about learning to deal with the problem with a different approach. You cannot stop people from going to brothels overnight but you can try and control some of the negative effects. Take STDs. How about setting up free health clinics near areas where prostitutes abound. How about ensuring that those catering to the needs of those indulging in prostitution are treated and kept from becoming the STD hubs of society. How about teaching safe sex practices to those who are frequented by members of 'our' society and trying to keep their patrons from bringing the 'fruit' of their encounters home to their partners.

Disappointment

Disappointment can never come about in a vacuum. Its roots dig in to our expectations. You cannot be disappointed without expectation. Things good or bad cannot disappoint you unless you were anticipating something otherwise. Thus, the basis of all disappointment is expectation. Shall we give up expecting then?

I doubt it is possible to give up expectation. It is synonymous to giving up hope. And hope is the essence of life. You cannot live without hoping. You cannot give up hope even when hope and reality drift as far apart as possible.

Hope is reason. Hope is direction. It is purpose and the path towards the destination. The path must never be abandoned. Whether you reach the destination or not is immaterial.

Oysters 101

My first rendezvous with oysters was spring break last year. And since then it has been a steady relationship. The first encounter came by virtue of the Louisiana Gumbo at New Orleans. I was coaxed in to trying it out by a friend of mine who lives on seafood. I must say it was not love at first sight (taste!).

Oysters have a taste that is hard to describe. They taste nothing like fish or shrimp. The texture is slippery and rubbery. And they are very soft. You have to try them out to know the taste. There really is describing it. So, like I said it was not love at first taste. The taste grows on you slowly and once you get hooked to it, there is no letting go. For me oysters came the way sushi did. I did not like the first bite but was slowly conditioned in to appreciation. Also, oysters are the new hip thing. They are a delicacy. And, while they might not be for everyone, everyone must try them once to know what they are missing out on.

And when you try your first oyster be sure that it is properly harvested and cooked. Oyster harvesting is no joke. It is instrumental in preserving the taste and texture and ensuring that the end product is a healthful food with no risks. Gulf Oysters are the leading hand in developing and refining technologies for oyster harvesting. These technologies ensure that you can enjoy oysters without worrying over health risks. This includes technologies that let you even consume oysters raw. Currently, there are three technologies for harvesting oysters: IQF, HCP and HHP. All three work in different ways to accomplish the same goal: an oyster that you can relish without looking back. Be sure to read up more on these at BeOysterAware.com.

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Dreams

Dreams serve a greater purpose in being dreams than anything else. A dream is beautiful because it is a dream. Of course, I am talking about dreams that we see with our eyes wide open. And no this does not refer to daydreaming. Though, I think daydreaming also has a purpose. It gives us something to want and may be aspire towards. We can also daydream about thinks that we can only want and mere wishing for those things gives us a sense of satisfaction.

Dreams give us a reason, something to work towards. This something could be in the near future or in the distant tomorrow. Both ways it has become the potential for to take us to the future. Whatever that future may be or might hold for us.

My dream a few years ago was a graduate degree from the land of opportunity. A dream that worked hard for and a dream that meant more than many comforts and other dreams. Now I am close to achieving that dream. A graduate degree from a top notch school!

The closer the fulfillment of the dream gets the less important the dream becomes. That is the thing with dreams. They are more precious when they are just dreams than when they become reality. Reality is mundane and banal. Reality is just this breath and the next tied together by the ticking away of the clock.

The important thing however is to find new dreams. New dreams that can carry one through reality and dreams that add meaning to where we have come through the dreams we once dreamt and later fulfilled.

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I have already decided what I am getting for friends and family. A tick mark next to each loved ones name with the gift I picked for them. It is time to celebrate so why spend when you can save and fret over expenses. I have got my gifts and my gut is not knotting over paying too much too. I got a 30% off on women's apparel at Kohl's and 15% off at HM Jewelry. How great does that feel? Go find out for yourself at Coupon Chief.

Lahore blasts

Lahore is home, a place where I went to college, started work, got married and will be returning to soon. Lahore is where friends and family are. Lahore is where my past, present and future are. Lahore is where my dreams, hopes and ambition are.

And today Lahore is in distress. My city, my home, my land is in distress and we the loyal citizens of the city that hosted civilization for centuries are silent by passers. We the proud patrons of art and culture are witnesses to carnage. We the arrogant pious Muslims of the Islamic Republic of the 'not so pure' are in awe of our own doing.

How did we get here? When did all this get so close to home? Why did we sleep through turmoil and now stand numb in shock? What is it that can restore the peace and calm of the streets I once walked alone: without fear, without grief, without death, without tragedy, without noticing, without trying, without knowing that these streets are home and home needs guardians. When did citizens stop being custodians and when did custodians seal the fate of our brick ad mortar and in blood and flesh.

Expectations

Expectations are our way of coping with the uncertainty of what the future might bring. We create them with all our hopes and insecurities and then we cling to them. We build them up like idols and then worship them night and day. Sometimes we become so obsessed with our expectations that we fail to see all that lies beyond them. We ignore the reality of the world around us and busy ourselves in feeding our often unrealistic expectations. They need not be more or less than reality. They need not be realistic at all. They are our back doors, our safe havens, our self created abodes and our own creations to escape from things that we cannot fathom.

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Globalization

Yesterday we ate out at a Pakistani place in the DC area. The problem we ran in to was simple yet amusing. My Indonesian friend has been practicing basic urdu for a while so she likes being able to order food in urdu. This does not work quite well though when the only people you see working in a Pakistani food place happen to be Latinos.

National Identity

I have been working on a digital poster for my nationalism course. There is the endless search for images, audio/video clips and the appropriate text to fit a small space of no more than an A4 size sheet of paper. And then there is the search for an identity that I have constructed and deconstructed time and again. How do you outgrow or shed the conditioning of nationalism or even religion. I bring in religion because national identity in Pakistan is intertwined with religion. Why? Because we think the nation was created in the name of religion.

Correction: Pakistan was created to be a country for Muslims of India and not Islam. There is a difference: a difference we often fail to see, a difference that matters and a difference that makes all the difference sometimes.

I wonder why no history text book in the land of the pure ever quotes Jinnah's first address to the Constituent Assembly.

'You are free; you are free to go to your temples, you are free to go to your mosques or to any other place or worship in this State of Pakistan. You may belong to any religion or caste or creed that has nothing to do with the business of the State.'

But then it really does not take a lot of wondering. Our national identity is socially constructed and we grow up conditioned in to it. Hence, we think ourselves nationals of a great nation and associate our blood and belonging with a piece of land: a piece of land no different from any other piece of land. We hold sacred our map, flag, 'founding fathers' and monuments. Never realizing that they are just symbols and people long dead and these symbols are no different than symbols held esteemed by people across the globe. We live our lives divided as nations: people who would rather be part of a great nation than being plain simple human beings.

Sleep cycle

So I skipped sleep for a day and stayed awake till 11 pm. Cooked, cleaned and did a hand full of things like laundry, bank trip and all. Bottom line, I survived the day. Problem: the sleep problem persists. Ideas anyone?

And now that I am on to general ranting, there is this microfinance paper I just HAVE to get off my back. Been working on it for a while now and there it is...still incomplete...have the framework in order...just need to finalize the case studies. And then the mind numbing task of putting it all together.

I should put my profession as 'paper writer'. Seriously, that is what I do: write papers. One after another. Just paper after paper. I need to stop writing papers. I need to just stop writing papers .

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Sleep cycle

My sleep cycle has been a mess for over two weeks now. I sleep after sunrise and wake up sometime in the evening to find out the day is almost over. What a waste? The problem is I just cannot go to sleep at night. I try going to bed early, make the mid night cut off point, toss and turn and then just spend the night wide awake.

How or why this happened is beyond me. What I do know though is that this is crazy. It is not as bad as it could be but still it needs to be fixed. I am lucky I do not have classes before 2 pm. So I manage to pull off my very erratic sleep routine.

This has to stop. Hence, today the plan is to not sleep i.e. I am going to skip sleep for a day and see if that helps. So here it is. I have been up since 3 pm yesterday and it is 10 am now. I will run a few errands, do laundry, cook, clean...whatever it takes to stay awake another ten hours and then finally dump myself on the mattress.

Silence

Silence is the absence of sound. We communicate through it when words fail us or when we are failed by our words. It fills the void between two people even when none of them speaks. However, silence becomes hollow and empty sometimes. It loses the ability to express when the only medium of communication is sound. When we talk to someone over the phone all we exchange is sound. Without sound the communication breaks down sometimes.

Imagine you are talking to someone and you go quiet. If the two of you are sharing physical space, the communication link is still functional. You can see each other, observe body language and communicate through facial expressions or gestures. A sigh, shrug or smile can add meaning to silence in person.

This meaning is lost over a telephonic conversation. Silence becomes stripped of its meaning when the communication channel is based on sound alone. Silence in such instances can lead to misunderstanding and overlooking the intent of the one who went quiet. Thus, demanding an explanation or a justification.

Oyster Joke

What does daddy oyster say to mommy oyster? Open up I want to see your pearl.
What does mommy oyster say to daddy oyster? It's a girl.
What does baby oyster say to daddy oyster? Give me a swirl.

Jokes aside oysters are delicious little mollusks packing low calorie proteins, minerals, vitamins and healthful omega-3 fatty acids. How do I know that? Because I like to know what I eat and how it effects me. Do you like to know about the foods you love? I hope you do because if you do not you can not only miss out on a lot but also put your health at risk.

Take oysters. When eaten undercooked, they can pose serious health risks. The risks are much worse for people with diabetes, liver disease and weak immune systems. If you have any of the above mentioned and consume raw oysters you can fall seriously ill and even die. Did you know that? I did not till I checked out the amazing new web resource by Gulf oysters. It is easy to use and holds a ton of useful information. I recommend you check it out now and relish the flavor of your favorite food without causing your health any harm.

Change

I was talking to a friend last night and the realization of graduating in less than three months hit hard. I am graduating in three months!

Actually 75 days but that is not the point. The point is returning home after graduating. It is interesting how home is still elsewhere despite living here for almost two years. This is home only when I am out of town or returning to the apartment on a cold evening. That is also not the point. I have a feeling there will be quite a few points in this post. So yes, I am returning home in 75 days. I will need a job in 75 days. I will be dealing with adjusting back in to an environment I was once but am no longer used to.

Am I anxious? Surprisingly, not all that much. After a certain age change becomes a norm or may be not. I have moved around quite a bit all my life. Every 2-3 years I moved from one city to another. Two years ago I moved from one country to another. Did I mention the two countries happen to be on different continents and the ten hour time difference of course.

Plus, change happens all the time. Whether you like it or not things change, people change and we too change. I wonder how much I have changed. Quite a bit I suppose. Whether you look at time as a continuum or a fragmented string of events, change is omnipresent. You are born and you grow oh so quickly, learn to crawl, walk, talk and all. You grow a few years and you start school. You grow a few more and you are in primary school. Add a couple of years to that and there you have it, adolescence. Ah! that time of self imagined glory and righteousness.

Then there is o-levels or whatever 10th/11th grade system of education you get put through. Two more years and you are in college. Four years of college in which you learn and unlearn more than most people ever will in their entire lives. No, I am not talking about classroom learning. And then you graduate. You get a job (or get married if you are a female who was born and raised to get married). In my case you work for two years after college. Then you go back to school and after a few months get married. And then you graduate.

What do you after that? Do you work for two years again and go back to school. It will be so cool if one could do that over and over again. Of course, not with the same work and degree though. So yes, what do I do after graduating. Work!. That I will but do I work with a PhD in mind few years down the road or do I just go back and dump myself in a corporate slum. Or do I just sit back and let Mr. husband man to do all the work and be the coffee-tea (aloo gosht/chayay) housewife. I know i am judgmental, sometimes, or may be often. But yes the housewife thing is just not it I guess. Even with all the cooking I am obsessed with, it is just not it.

So the bottom line is I graduate, I work and I find a way to go back to school.

Microsoft fined heavily by EU

EU is fining Microsoft $1.3 billion for violating anti-trust order. Microsoft is accused of charging too much for selling software information to developers interested in developing applications compatible with Windows. The $1.3 billion fine is the highest fine ever charged by any one from any company.

Research at Hull University discredits effectiveness of Antidepressants

A recent study carried out at University of Hull questions the effectiveness of anti-depressants in offering relief from severe depression. The researchers at the university believe that the actual effect of anti-depressants is exaggerated and the reasons for patients feeling better stem from placebo effect (i.e. people feel better after taking medication because they are expecting the medication to make them feel better). The anti-depressants under question are the ones that function by increasing the production of the natural mood altering chemical, serotonin, in the brain. It is worth clarifying here that researchers accept the effectiveness of such treatment for mild cases of depression. It is the cases of severe depression that showed little or no change in the light of anti-depressant treatment.

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Pakistan lifts the ban on YouTube

Pakistan the lifts ban on YouTube after removal of the blasphemous video clip of an upcoming Dutch film on Islam. Pakistan Telecommunications Authority told Internet Service Providers to unblock YouTube today. In the light of this I take back my conspiracy theory. This is a positive step forward and sends out a clear signal. The quick response from YouTube, Google, is worth appreciating. It is worth mentioning here that YouTube is currently banned in Turkey and Thailand.

Nationalism returns

Just read an article about how children learn national identity. Will be writing about it in detail soon.

Paintball Fun

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Youtube blocked in Pakistan

This is with reference to an earlier post about Pakistani authorities blocking access to youtube. The reasons given are the Danish cartoons and the trailer for an upcoming Dutch film about Islam. To the conspiracy theorist inside me these reasons just do not suffice.

The internet has opened new avenues of expression and protest for disgruntled citizens. Blogging websites and youtube are examples of this upcoming drive towards online citizen participation. In a country like Pakistan, where freedom of speech is a dream tainted far too long and yet never close to being materialized, these platforms offer a means of saying out loud all that you cannot say otherwise and actually being heard by at least some one some where.

Thus, I believe it is quite possible that the ban on youtube could be in the light of growing online citizen protest and not the above stated reasons given by the State. More so, it is worth noting that the ban remains despite the fact that the content deemed offensive by Pakistani authorties has been taken offline.

Suicide Bomber Kills Surgeon General Pakistan

A suicide bomb in Rawalpindi killed General Mushtaq Ahmed Baig, alongside seven others. The suicide bomber rammed in to the General's car near MH (Military Hospital) and Post Office on Mall Road Rawalpindi on Monday. Twenty others were wounded in the attack. The death of a top rank General has been a first and labeled by many as the greatest loss since 9/11. The attack is taken to be another in the series from Al-Qaeda.

Loss of life is equally agonizing regardless of whose life it is. Yet the idealism of this statement is fleeting. The death of a nine month, nine year and ninety year old are not the same. The death of a President and a poor citizen are not the same. The death of a soldier and a General are not the same. The death of a Surgeon General and seven others (whose name no newspaper cared to mention) are not the same. And the death of a suicide bomber and victims of his attack are not the same.

Some year ago I wrote
'Death is always a tragedy.
Birth, always a miracle.
Then why mourn anew every time,
when the story never changes'

I feel Mushtaq Ahmed Baig's death was a huge loss to the country with or without the title General. He was a senior doctor, a specialist, a person with skill and knowledge. How many doctors of comparable expertise and ability do we have in Pakistan? And how many more of them shall we see slaughtered in the name of religion?

Fix your digestive system now!

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Pakistan blocks YouTube

Internet Service Providers in Pakistan have been asked by authorities to block access to YouTube. This is apparently in the light of the return of the danish cartoons. A little over two years ago access to blogspot was denied for the same reason. Whether the ban is permanent or temporary has not been announced.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7261727.stm

Also check
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7262071.stm

Langauge and identity

I was listening to Ghalib on my laptop when a friend walked in and asked about what was playing. Ghalib, I told her and she gave me a questioning look. I tried explaining Ghalib to her and she asked me to translate for her.

Problem is Ghalib is not to be explained and translated. Ghalib is not even really to be understood. I think poetry loses meaning if you try explaining it or even try too hard to understand it. I remember Shoaib Hashmi once said about Faiz that his poetry was spiritual. You need not understand the words to appreciate them. It is about feeling.

I felt Ghalib today. I have felt Faiz through many difficult times in my life. I was mocked by a friend when packing a book each by Ghalib, Faiz, Manto and Parveen Shakir in my luggage for my first trip from good old land of the pure to the land of opportunity. She had said 'what are you afraid of? losing your high school urdu?'

I am not afraid of losing my urdu. I do occasionally worry about forgetting how to write it though. But that is not the point. The point is that language is identity. Urdu is my identity despite all the theorizing and academic babbling I do in English. I regret not being able to write in Urdu. I feel guilty for writing poetry and prose in English.

Mobashir Ahmed's: Danish Cartoons Re-appear

Mobashir Ahmed's: Danish Cartoons Re-appear

Time in a Bottle: Point to Ponder

Time in a Bottle: Point to Ponder

Mobashir Ahmed's: Elections in Pakistan-Well Done Musharraf!

Mobashir Ahmed's: Elections in Pakistan-Well Done Musharraf!

Pythons for pets, any one?

One study reveals that pythons could grow over from Florida to San Francisco in the next decade. Why? Because we love oil and big cars...urm...global warming!

Care to adopt one?

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-02-20-burmese-pythons_N.htm?se=yahoorefer

Grey's Anatomy

I have totally become obsessed with Grey's Anatomy over the last 36 hours. It is insane and unhealthy but have watched about a dozen episodes already - not in one go of course but still in 36 hours. That is bad right...quite bad.

And I cannot get the song out of my head. You must check it out. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. As long as this lasts I'm loving it!

PayPerPost begins!

So I signed up for PayPerPost, brought my blog back to life and started taking blogging seriously again. I missed being away. And I am sure glad to be back. Also, I have been hearing about friends monetizing blogs and making a little or lot of money. I thought shall look in to this.


I have looked through quite a few scams so for starters PayPerPost is different. It has worked well for an acquaintance and many thanks to him I am following in his footsteps now. PayPerPost is simple. You get paid for posting on your blog.

How? First you sign up at www.payperost.com. Add a blog and await approval. The criteria for approval are clearly listed on the web site. In case you do not meet all requirements you will be notified. Thus, you know exactly how to fix the issue. Once on board, look at opportunities you qualify for. These are also clearly listed and easy to find at the site's user friendly interface. Choose opportunities you like and reserve them. Write a post based on guidelines listed in the opportunity, publish post on your blog, update blog post url at payperpost.com and you are on your way to make some money. Voila! You can get paid through paypal and yes you DO get paid. I will put my credibility on line for this one. This ain't a scam.

I am a beginner and all excited. For now I am saving for vacation. Where my vacation will be depends on how well this venture turns out. But I tell you I am optimistic. So do not wait and get going.

How do I promote my blog?

Promoting a blog takes time and work. However, it is never too late to start. Here are just a few pointers I can think of.

1) Activate RSS feed.
2) Activate ping service.
3) Let your blog be listed in blog listings.
4) Write regularly and consistently.
5) Find your niche and stay focused.
6) Include your blog in your email signature.
7) Comment on blogs of like minded people and build on online social capital.
8) Be patient!

Computer from 65 BC

Scientists finally discern the hidden mechanics of a 65 BC computer device recovered from a wrecked Roman ship. It was accidentally discovered by Elias Stadiatos in 1900 and has since been a source of mystery. Since its discovery, scientists have been trying to reconstruct the device, which is now known to be an astronomical calendar capable of tracking with remarkable precision the position of the sun, several heavenly bodies and the phases of the moon. Experts believe it to be the earliest-known device to use gear wheels and by far the most sophisticated object to be found from the ancient and medieval periods.

Why do people blog?

I have been thinking over blogging for a while now and cannot help but ask why people blog? Is it the desire to be heard or the need to express or in the light of the growing online marketplace plain simple monetization of customized content.

Why do you blog?

ebuzzing: The new advertiser-blogger platform

The internet is the new marketplace of today's economy. It liberates the problem of coordination from time and space. You can be any where in the world at any hour of the day and still be a producer, consumer or the middleman in the global economy. All you need is a computer, internet and a platform: a platform that connects those with needs to those who can fulfill these needs.

I chose my platform to be ebuzzing. Why? Because it is simple enough for me and offers choices.

The way it works is simple. Say you are a blogger and want to monetize your blog or aspire to write about services that you and your audience find of interest. You sign up at www.ebuzzing.co.uk. You get an email to confirm your registration and you are registered. Voila! Next you add your blog or blogs. You can enter as many blogs as you want in to categories that help you define your content and focus. Next you wait for your blog(s) to be validated. Why? Because your blog needs to meet certain criteria for you and ebuzzing to have a mutually fruitful relationship.

While you await validation you do not have to sit back or tap your fingers. Your registration entitles you to explore the opportunities at the platform. You can browse through campaigns launched by advertisers and write for advertisers whose criteria you meet. Each campaign has a 'brief'. This brief lets you know about how the campaign you are interested in is to work. Upon finding interest in a campaign and meeting the advertiser's criteria, you can write an article about the campaign. Every article written by you requires validation from ebuzzing to become eligible for payment. Also, the article must be validated before it can be posted on your blog.

The standard reward per article is £10. However, the rate is not fixed. You can set your own rate through ebuzzing direct or qualify for a higher rate through meeting criteria for campaigns that pay higher. You earn revenue per article 30 days after the article appears on your blog. Once you earn £50 or more you can start receiving the fruits of your labor. Again ebuzzing offers you options. You are not restricted by any one mode of payment but can pick from three (i.e. payment by check, bank transfer or paypal).

This said, step in to explore the new dimension of blogging through the valuable new platform of ebuzzing. The web site is simple and user friendly. The interface helps you find the information you need and also offers you contact information for assistance. This is a new opportunity that demands nothing more than trying.

Try it!

Things I do not understand

So a girl marries against her parents' wishes and is pregnant. Why can we just not get over ourselves sometimes and accept the way people choose to live their lives. Why do we have to make it a point to make other's lives miserable...most of all whatever made people think they can play God.

Sobia Wali

Danish newspapers reprint Mohammad cartoons

There are people who learn and then there are those who do not. Freedom of expression does not entail slandering and provocation. I grew up with a simple saying. 'Your freedom ends where my nose begins'. Must the Danish poke their fingers in other people's noses.
http://mobashirahmed.blogspot.com/2008/02/danish-cartoons-re-appear.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/14/world/europe/14briefs-cartoon.html?ref=world

Mr. Westergaard, the 'artist' who drew the cartoon currently being reprinted in over a dozen newspapers in Denmark said “Naturally I never imagined these kinds of reactions.” I fail to see how much imagination he needs to understand the reaction his creation. Is it not plain common sense that religion is a sensitive issue world over. And how much imagination does one need to figure out that people think emotionally and not rationally about religion. Then why must their emotions be violated and why must the things they hold most sacred be desecrated.

It makes me think about the hypocrisy of nations who put a ban on holocaust imagery yet fail to see how offensive caricatures of a religious figure held sacred by millions of people will lead to no good.

Northern Illinois University Shooting

Just a year after Virginia Tech it happens all over again. What is it? A legacy of violence. Can we have gun control...PLEASE? Five dead and sixteen wounded. May we find peace and not go around killing each other.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7246003.stm

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/niu_shooting

National Flags

I just finished reading an interesting article about national anthems and flags by Karen A. Cerulo. The article looks at flags from 33 countries alongside anthems from 133. The study is based on analyzing the syntax and complexity of national symbols in the light of political modernization and world systems theory.

The article is interesting both by virtue of its content and methodology. Most of all the findings are substantial. As a cheat sheet for all those who failed to read the hand out and those who might be interested otherwise I am attaching pictures of the most basic and most complex flags, on the basis of embellishment.

Most basic syntax: Austria, followed by France.




Most embellished flags: Philippines, followed by Uganda.

Things I do not understand

How would you feel if a complete stranger walked in to your living room and started browsing through you family photos? I presume not all that comfy...then why upload all those baby, wedding and vacation pictures on blogs open to all.

Are we hitting a recession?

When it comes to a recession you always have the optimists talking about waves and cycles. This is just low growth or this is just the trough of the economic wave/cycle. Whether a dip or a trough or slow growth...a recession is a recession. And when it hits, it hits hard.

I am no economic expert at all. My networked economy class often leaves me puzzled. Not to mention that so do so many other things. Any way, in my arbitrary and unqualified opinion makes me believe we are in a recession. Yes, my friend, buckle up. We are diving low!

Yahoo! recently unveiled plans to lay off a 1000 people (i.e. almost 7% of the its workforce). Say 'Yahoo!' now would you. Macy's also recently announced to lay off about 950 employees (with 'benefits' of course). RealNetworks laid off just 10. Fidelity (the largest mutual funds firm) lays off 250. Eddie Bauer Holdings Inc. let go of 123 employees. Electric sheep company lays off 22. Pfizer Exubera lays off 123. KWQC-TV6 lays off 12. I could keep going but I think you get what I am saying.


I know people from my department who graduated this last summer and are still looking for jobs. I know people from my hubby's school who are unable to find jobs. I know people from a close friend's school who are busy job hunting months after graduation. And let me tell you these people all went to great schools.

To quote my head of the department.

'I graduated from Columbia amidst a recession. I could not believe we were in a recession till my 4.0 failed to get me a job'.

So yeah t'is a bad time to graduate.

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Just found this online. US economy grew at a rate of 0.6% in the last quarter of 2007. Bravo!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7217769.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7217227.stm

The void

Now and then I get moments of staring in to the void. The void of discontent that lies within us all. The void that feeds on our ability to be at peace within our souls. The void that is dark, cold and silent: the void that refuses to be filled.

The Sojourner

Eighteen months in an alien land and I still find myself neither here not there. I have been home twice in this eighteen month period. About three weeks each time. The first time was after four months in the 'land of opportunity', the second time was after a year long stretch here. My first trip was a cherished reinforcement of nostalgia and respite. I was glad to be home and in the company of people I care most for in my life. It was not just about returning to family and friends that gave meaning to my return. It was the city and its familiarity. The key word here is familiarity.

Familiarity that was lost upon my second trip home. My family was split. My husband in US and my parents back home, I feel suspended between continents. My soul found solace neither here nor there. To add to this, most of my friends were no longer in the familiar city I call home. And then of course, the city has changed. The air, the wind and the rain of my city have changed. The monsoon and the winter fog have changed. The very rules of association within my home have change. The motherland is no longer the same.

After finding my way from the proud national of a country I resided in for the first 25 years of my life to a alien resident of a land that offers immense order and opportunity, I am now troubled by where my home really is. Blood and belonging are problematic. My blood is from a land far far away. I belong here with a man I have chosen to live my life with.

Again, this is too hasty a simplification. In the past two years so much has changed. I have changed. My home, my nation, my country have changed. My life and my life plan have changed. I came here for an academic degree and the intention to return to my homeland. Finding abode amidst the wilderness of this alien continent was not part of the plan. Falling in love with and marrying a compatriot settled here was not part of the plan. Ever rethinking my intention and desire to return home was not part of the plan. Most of all not having a plan at all was not part of the plan.

Social Networks

Networks abound our routine vocabulary today. We use them often without realizing what all they encompass. I believe people use 'networks' to refer to social networks. A social network implies connections between individuals. One's social network includes family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues and people one communicates or exchanges information with.

Two key ideas associated with social networks are network density and network diversity. Network density depends on how closely knit a network is i.e. how well connected people are within a network. For example do all the people in your social network know each other. The larger the number of linkages within a network the higher its density. Diversity deals with heterogeneity of actors in a network. A family network is homogeneous on lines of kinship but heterogeneous in terms of age, gender and may be income/education levels. On the other hand a church group is homogeneous on lines of religion but heterogeneous in terms of age, gender, race, income, education etc.

Network density and diversity are key characteristics of a social network. They can help one predict the flow of information within a network. A dense homogeneous network is not well suited to acquiring information. Studies have shown that people get job information through weak ties as opposed to strong ties. A weak tie is a link such as an acquaintance or someone you know through someone else and not directly. The reason for this lies in the observation that information becomes redundant in a dense homogeneous network. One hears about the same things from different people over and over again. On the contrary a less dense and heterogeneous network links one to other networks. These weak links bring in information external to one's immediate network.

Social networks are of interest for many reasons. They can be used for targeted marketing, political campaigns, control of disease ad in general spread of information. Lately, terrorist networks have been studied to identify key actors and gauge how best to disable or breakdown the network.

Minorities and Nationalism

I find national identity of minorities very interesting. However, my interests lie in the need of minorities to constantly defend and justify their loyalty to a state in which they are not accorded the status of equal citizens. This becomes particularly important in the case of minorities that believe in a religion that differs from the religion of the majority, given that the state is based on religion.

Not only do minority citizens face the need to constantly reiterate their loyalty but their contributions towards the well being of the nation are often undermined by their minority status. Two examples of this are Dr. Abdus Salam, the first Muslim and only Pakistani to be a Nobel Laureate, and Sir Muhammad Zafarullah Khan,the first Foreign Minister of Pakistan to the UN and the President of the 17th session of the UN General Assembly. You will rarely find the names of these two in a history textbook in Pakistan. The former lived in self exile by virtue of religious persecution and the later resigned in the face of demands from extremist factions and the inability of the state to respond appropriately. Both were haunted by doubts casted on their loyalty to the Pakistani nation on the basis of their minority status.

Flag Ceremony at Wagah Border

Every day the flags at the Wagah border are taken down at sunset and put back up at sunrise on both sides of the border. Crowds gather at both sides, cheering slogans of national greatness and crying out 'long live Pakistan' and 'long live India' simultaneously (depending on which side of the border you are at). I hope you find the video at youtube interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeSX6AZ5xEI

The land I recognize no more

Nationalism is a myth yet we cannot shed it. I always have trouble drawing a line between nationalism and patriotism. My national identity is tainted by my disagreement with what most mistakenly believe to be the foundation of my nation. No, Pakistan was not created on the basis of religion. Belie history as much as you want and teach as controversial a version of history as you may yet the facts will remain.

Pakistan was created to safeguard the economic, political and social interests of the Muslims of united India. Religious freedom was part of the agenda but not THE agenda. The key Muslim scholars and leaders of sub continent were opposed to the idea of Pakistan. They did not believe in the creation of a nation on the behest of religion. For them Muslims of united India were part of the international Muslim Ummah that existed without borders. In fact, these very Muslim scholars (including Maulana Maududi) considered Jinnah to be a heretic and the very idea of Pakistan flawed.

And then soon after the tables turned and Pakistan was created, these very people who had passionately opposed the founding of the country were suddenly blessed with the revelation that the sole purpose of the creation of the country was Islam. The Republic of Pakistan became the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Religion and State became entangled and the secularism preached by Jinnah in his very first address to the constituent assembly became a forgotten aberration.

Thanks to Zia's Islamization , today most Pakistani's believe the creation and purpose of Pakistan to be tied to religion. Only if one paused to wonder what was behind Zia's Islamization and the legitimacy it offered to the tyrannical rule of a dictator, one can see what a facade it all was. Add to it the Washington coined Jihad during the Soviet war and the ISI created Taliban and you shall not be surprised much at the state of affairs in the country today.

Where we stand today is a direct consequence of our inability to draw a line between state and religion. A country founded to safeguard the Muslims of sub continent is not to be equated with a country founded for Islam. Religion is a private affair. The state has no business with religion (period!).

Nationalism 101

What is a nation?

An imagined community...fair enough...what is an imagined community?

Benedict Anderson's 'Imagined Communities' is the seminal work at the foundation of the idea of nation as an imagined community. An imagined community is made up of individuals who associate with each other without ever having met or seen each other. As opposed to a real community (i.e. class mates, a church congregation, office staff, teachers at a school, football team etc), members of a nation share belief in nationhood. They imagine other members of their nation to exist rather than know them in person.

The idea of nation is abstract. We all have it yet we really do not know what makes our nation a nation. Is it shared bloodline or race or ethnicity? Is it shared geography? Shared language or culture? Shared religion? Shared history? Or all of these put together?

There are nations that exist without sharing all of the above. Are the swiss a nation, with their multiple languages? Are Americans and British one nation with one language? Are the Kurds in Turkey, Iran and Iraq a nation, with their separatist claims? Are all Muslims of the world a nation? Are the Sikhs in Punjab and the Gujaratis and Tamil part of one big Indian nation? Are the Chinese and the Taiwanese one nation? Are the Palestanians a nation?

Where do you draw the line?

Hypocrisy 101

A halal vegetarian meal with red wine!

Problem? Not really.
I figure you have a skewed way of looking at things and I understand you are another ordinary mortal. I find the contradictions in you amusing at best.

What is it with halal meals and alcohol?

I am not particular about this so I will eat any meat other than pork. How the animal was slaughtered or electrocuted does not bother me. What bothers me though is that I know 'self-righteous' people who look down upon me for ordering a chicken sandwich and proceed to indulge in wine with a 'halal' meal.

Seriously, what is wrong with you?
My problem is not your halal/non halal preferences or your indulgence in or abstinence from alcohol. My problem is your 'better than thou' attitude. It plain simple irritates me.

Go do all you want. Just do not tell me about how you are a much stronger Muslim.