Sudden revelation: happiness

Never thought a good pedicure could bring me such joy. I feel my skin soft and smooth. I find my feet pretty and light. It gives me a feeling of freshness I have not experienced before. I feel content in my skin. I feel happy with myself.

Working ten hours a day, teaching thirty hours every week and working Sundays too. I have turned in to a workaholic. I have so long dreaded turning in to a mechanical animal. I have always feared becoming a corporate slave. But today I feel the fear no more. The despair of all my negative thinking stands bleak. I sit here smiling to myself. I am happy. I am happy with life today.

A year or so ago, if someone told me money can buy happiness I would have frowned at the person and walked away. Today I smile at the irony of it all. I am working round the clock. I am making a lot of money. And I am happy.

I am happy because I can buy all the trivial things that I had never thought important. I can go around and shine in the warmth of my work. I love my job. And I love my company. I am paid well. And I work hard. I work with a sense of commitment. I work for a reason. I feel focus in my life. And what better can things be than getting a handsome pay check as a perk.

I had an idle evening today after weeks. I lazed around in my room reading friends’ blogs on the internet. I connected with myself and the world around. I went shopping and got myself a few things that I have been meaning to get for a while. Three pairs of shoes, a couple of books I really wanted to read and a bunch of cosmetics. The shopping spree made me feel in control. There is a feeling of power associated with being able to buy what you want. There is a feeling of self sufficiency and certainty attached with every purchase. I feel I am independent. I feel I can stand on my own feet. I feel I can last on my own.

Getting back home I gave myself a good pedicure. God bless ‘Freeman’ for ‘bare foot’. The aroma of its grains cleansed my soul of all weariness. I soaked my feet in its soft foam and read for almost an hour. I felt my soul cleansed of all uncertainties. I saw the future as a brighter day. I felt the need to live on. After so long I felt I have a reason to move on.

A wage slave or an automaton, call me whatever you may. But I am happy today. I am happy today and I love every bit of it. I dance around the room exhilarated. I jump on my two feet in joy. I am happy today. After a long time I feel I really am happy today.

I am happy because I am Branch Manager. I am happy because people at my company value my work. I am happy because my students love me. I am happy because I have pulled through my worst stretch of ill health. I am happy because I conquered illness without letting my work suffer. I am happy because I feel myself again. I am happy because I knocked an ulcer and two serious infections out of my body. I am happy because I feel healthy, rich and worthy. I am happy because I think I am falling in love. Yes, I am falling in love. I am falling in love with myself.